My dog, Her fleas, My revelation

So, it was 9 am..I was about to start my work out. I bend down to put the video in the DVD player. I see a little spec on my foot. I look more closely at it and when I go to swat it away it jumped- that all too familiar quick little jump that I used to see when my childhood cat had fleas. NO WAY. My first thoughts were "I have 3 small children. I don't have time for fleas!" So I go over to our chocolate lab and take a peak around her ears. I see nothing. I move on back to my workout area, pleased that I didn't see any fleas. I get a thought in the back of my head 'Tara, you didn't look to hard now did you?'...then I thought 'Well no, of course not because I don't have time for fleas. I don't want to deal with a flea infestation thank you very much so I'd just prefer to believe that I did not see any fleas. That is all, thank you'.
My whole motivation to work out was heading down the drain at this point. I walk back over to Tanner Reba Bosheeba ( Yes, that's what her name is) But we just call her Tanner. Ok, so I walk back over to Tanner... and I say "Tan Tan, roll over" She rolled over...There it was ...or there THEY were. FLEAS- and more then a few of them. - SO yes, it's been a day of dealing with the issue..it's late at night and I believe it's been dealt with....
As I was rocking my baby to sleep tonight I had a few quiet moments to myself. I thought to myself, how did I not see the fleas before today. My husband had given her a flea bath and he told me there were SO MANY. HOW did we not see them?...How did we not see her scratching? It was as though we were blind to it. Then this thought came to me:

God will take our everyday experiences to teach us something. So I took the flea situation and asked God "are you trying to show me something, or teach me something in all of this?" And this is what He impressed up on my heart:

"You didn't see the fleas because you weren't paying attention to the dog. You were busy with the children and with cleaning and cooking and laundry. You weren't focused on the dog or her surroundings. And just like you weren't paying attention to the dog, you also get so  distracted with the things of the world that  you don't always pay attention to what I'M saying to you. You get so busy 'DOING' that you don't spend enough time just BEING with me, soaking in my presence and LISTENING to me. You need to seek me to know me. You need to pay attention to my voice"

Wow...time to slow down, pay attention. God knows I'm a mom of three young ones! He would never ask me to abandon my children and go lock myself in my room to pray for 3 hours...BUT He would ask me to put my phone down and not spend so much time on Facebook. Hmmmmm...He would never ask me to ignore my responsibility of keeping up with my laundry, but He would ask me to turn the TV off....Hmmmm.  There are some things, I've realized tonight that God may be asking me to bring BALANCE to.... and I'm thankful that my dog did have fleas in a way, or else I would have never asked God that simple question..."What are you trying to teach me?" And I would not have heard Him say- Bring balance.

I stopped...I listened....He spoke....and I heard Him. All I had to do was slow down and focus on Him.

Friends, sometimes we're not hearing from God because the desires of the world blocks out His voice. Sometimes, we're not hearing from Him because we're just not listening to Him- we're not finding that quiet time to ask Him "What would you like to say to my Daddy God". Sometimes we're not hearing from Him because we're afraid of what He'll say, what He'll ask us to do. Let me pray with you...


Lord Jesus, You are good. You are so good. To hear Your voice and to receive your direction is such a blessing in and of itself. When You speak to our hearts, it's for a good reason. When you ask us to do something or NOT do something for that matter it's because you know what's best for us. Lord,I just pray that we can come before you with a quietness and an eagerness and desire to hear from You..not matter what you have to say to us- because what ever it is that you have to say, it is out of love- wether it be a promise that you whisper to our hearts, a vision that you place within us, or even
if it's a request for us to surrender a desire, a dream, a vision...what ever it may be, it's for our good and not for our harm. Lord, speak to our hearts tonight~ Speak what ever it that You want us to hear. Our ears and our hearts are open Lord.. In Jesus name ...Amen 

Radical Obedience ~ Say What?

Please God , tell me that wasn't You asking me to do that.....

I was feeling sick to my stomach. I tried to tell myself that it was the enemy, the devil trying to throw me off....But I was unsettled.

But why did I keep getting this nagging thought that would just not go away? Why did I believe deep down that it was God's voice I was hearing? My heart was breaking- it didn't make sense...

But there it was- God was asking me to step down from leading worship with my husband at our home church.

Now this might not seem like a big deal to some...but to me it was my purpose. To me, it was what I loved to do and I loved to do it for Jesus. I thought I'd found 'my place'. Singing allowed me to pour my heart out to Jesus, to express my passion and love for Him. I couldn't  express my love to Him any more freely than when I was singing-worshipping Him. God would give me vision as I sang and I would sing prophetically through song.... So none of this, NONE of it made sense...

I cried to God, I begged, I pleaded...but the response was still the same... "step down from leading worship"

Isn't it funny how we say to God, "Ok, I will...BUT will you please tell me WHY first?" I like everything in my life to "make sense"..I like it when it's all wrapped up in a pretty little package..I like KNOWING everything... Anyone else nodding their heads right now saying "yup, I'm the saaaammmmeee way!"

But God didn't tell me.......

God didn't give me an explanation.......

God didn't say "if you step down from leading worship, it will just be for a short time....

He said none of that. 

He just said- STEP DOWN.

I had a decision to make. Do I stay on the worship team and sing for Him when He doesn't want me up there anymore? OR do I step down and obey Him and love Him and trust Him and desire HIM more then MY  desire to sing for Him?

I stepped down. I got on my knees and told My Daddy God that I loved Him more...That I would never be able to live with myself if I continued to walk in disobedience. It hurt a lot at first! I won't lie to you and tell you that my heart didn't hurt, because it did!! But once I stepped down from the worship team, a weight had been lifted, a peace filled my heart.... I may have not know the answer as to WHY, but my God did..and that was all that mattered.

Friends, if you feel God asking you to step down from something, to lay something down at His feet, to give something up - Don't  run from it. He will never ever ask you to do anything that will cause you harm. He has a plan and it's a GOOD plan for your life . 

Jeremiah 29:11 says -For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. 

God is That You?? Say What?

We say "God, I love you and trust You and will do whatever You want and go where ever You go..." Why of course it's easy to say that when everything is going smooth, when life is beautiful and things are falling into place...But let's be honest my sisters...when life doesn't seem so grand and we get the carpet pulled out from under our feet, it's a liiiiittle tougher to say "God I love you and trust You and will do WHATEVER You want me to".........
I had a 'say what' moment - when I heard God whisper to my heart and my very reaction was 'say what? God is that you?'

My husband was away on a missions trip in the Arctic...and I was at home -8 months pregnant with our first baby- And while Dave was away, I thought I heard God whisper to my heart...'move to London Ontario'...We had friends (a pastor and his wife) who lived in London but other then that, we really knew know one...We had no family in London.  I pushed it down ...far down... right away. The thought of uprooting and moving away from my family was just heart breaking!! Move to London with a baby? Take our baby away from his grandparents who were going to be grandparents for the first time! Leave our jobs and all of our friends? That could NOT have been God. I didn't even ask Him to clarify at the time..I just ignored what I thought I'd heard. But God wouldn't have it. That sentence "move to London" kept coming back to my mind over and over...so I gave in and allowed myself to talk to God about it..to pray about it... "I'm still not sure about this God, but if it's You, then tell Dave to"

Of course you know what's coming now right? Dave got home late at night and as we laid in bed, he was telling me about his trip and all of a sudden, out of no where, he said to me... "I think we're supposed to move to London."...all I could say was " I know. God told me the same thing." NOT only did God confirm through Dave that we were to move but also through a gentleman at our home church. We had not told anyone yet that we were moving and so when this man mentioned that he'd heard God say we needed to move to London Ontario- well let's just say that was confirmation once again!

We DID move to London. We served in a newly planted church that our friends were pastoring. We lived in London for 2 years (this is a whole other blog post in itself!...an other time I will share with you about our journey)

My friends...if God is asking you to do something, lay something at His feet, or to just do the unthinkable...if God speaks to you and all you can say is 'say what?' Don't brush if off! Pray and ask Him to guide you...And He will! He will not lead you astray...He'll be there every step of the way.

Lord I just lift up all my sisters reading this blog post who have had a 'say what' moment. Lord, we just want to glorify you and obey you. Our flesh, our fears, our desires sometimes get in the way of this. It's not what we want Lord. We do desire to honor you. Father, guide us. Give us confirmation in the areas that we so need. Thank You  for the 'say what' moments Lord! It's in those moments we GROW, it's in those moments that we draw closer to You Lord. We love you and want to honor you Lord.... Amen 

One, two, three...YES God!

A leap of faith. I'd thought about it often. I'd think...oh the day when I'll be ready to do WHATEVER God asks me to do is going to be a GREAT day!! I'd get excited at the thought. I desired to be in that place...the place where fear, doubt and selfishness would take the backseat to my newfound boldness, my once burried but now blossoming confidence.
Oh me oh my.
"My child"...I felt God impress upon my heart, "I'm so glad you are desiring this, but you're going to have to do more then just desire it. You're going to have to just do it"
"But God...I don't feel at all ready for that. You know that I still need sooooo much work before I get to that point!"
I thought to myself- If God asks me to be kind to my husband when we're in the middle of an argument am I really going to be able to do that??? If someone is rude with me will I be able to respond with love? If I'm afraid of the unknown, will I be able to say yes to God anyway when He asks me to do something? And dare I say...when I don't get what I want, will I be able to keep a thankful heart full of praise and gratitude anyway?
DEEP BREATH...then my converstation with God went a little something like this:
Me: I really, really want to be obedient to you God. I really do want to be obedient even when I don't feel like it. I really do want to do your will. I just feel STUCK"
God: silence....
Me: God where are you? I feel stuck and I'm not sure what I'm supposed to do next...
God: Obey my commands.
Me: I want to but I don't always feel that I can do it when the time comes...
God: You do your part, I'll do my part....my child, You have to step out in faith. I can only come in if you open the door. When you take the first step and do what you think you can't do, I'll come in once you say YES to me and I'll do the rest.
Me: Ok. I know that you'd never ask me to do anything that would harm me...so here it goes....

Trust me...I am still a HUGE work in progress, but I've started to say YES to God even when I don't 'feel' like it! Even when nothing makes sense, EVEN...get this...when I don't get my way! *gasp* That deserves an AMEN! haha!
Now, In all seriousness I've been extremely blessed since I've started doing the hard to do things that God has been wanting me to do.
Since I've started saying Yes to God, even though I didn't 'feel' ready, He's blessed me with peace, joy, friendships, revelation....I'm in awe of what He's doing in my life. To think I didn't want to step out for fear of what He's ask me to do...now I'm more afraid of what I'll miss if I don't do what He asks me to do!

Psalm 119:57 Lord, you are mine! I promise to obey your words!

My friends, if you are feeling the nudge to start obeying Him in areas that you have not been, don't wait any longer! Take the step of faith- or LEAP of faith and do your part...He'll do His and You'll be blessed for your obedience.

Lord, here I am...a heart surrendered...listening intently to Your voice. I'm not perfect..I don't always make the right moves, but I'm desiring to walk in your obedience and each and every day I'm stepping out more and more in faith...the more I fall in love with You , the more I'm in tune with Your voice..and the more I long to make you smile. I raise my hands and say 'YES' to you Lord. Yes, yes, yes!!! All the glory goes to you Lord.
Amen